You’re Not Falling Behind

It’s so easy to feel like you’re behind in life. No matter what stage of life you’re in, it can seem like everyone else your age is one step ahead of you. It’s hard to remember not to compare yourself to others, but you can often feel overwhelmed if you try to keep up with everyone else.  

As a senior, this has been most noticeable for me in the college application and decision process. Despite starting early in applications, I have yet to make a decision about which college I will go to. As the year has progressed, more and more of my friends and classmates have begun to commit to schools and decide what the next four years of their lives will look like.  

It can be hard not to compare myself to them. After all, we’re the same age, in the same grade, at the same school, learning similar things. Why do they seem to be so far ahead of me? Why have they been able to figure out things when I seem to be stuck, groping in the dark for some hint of what my life after high school will look like? 

As someone who has struggled with these thoughts, I want to remind of you two things. First, you do not need to compare yourself to others. Second, you are not alone. You are not the only one your age who has no idea what your future holds. Ultimately, it is God’s timing, not yours, that will be the best for your life.  

Don’t compare yourself 

When a lot of your friends are starting to take their next steps in life, it’s easy to assume that you are the only one who is “behind”. Everyone else has started the race and you can’t even seem to find the starting line. And as the cherry on top, they’re having an easy time of it while you’re struggling. 

But the fact is, that is not true. So often, especially if you attend an online school, we only see the accomplishments in our friends’ or classmates’ lives. We don’t see when they are struggling through decisions or praying for clarity; instead, we see when they have finally made it through to the next step. We see their rejoicing without seeing the pain.  

That means that we often end up in the unfair comparison game. You simply cannot compare your struggle to their celebration because you are not seeing the full story. Just because things are going well for them, you cannot assume that they have not experienced any pain in the process. You just didn’t see their pain because they didn’t share it.  

And that is completely fine, especially when you are not close friends. You do not always need to share your struggles with classmates and they don’t need to share theirs with you, but that means that we most definitely cannot compare our pain to others’ joy.  

God’s timing is perfect 

Another reason you cannot compare your situation to someone else’s is because God’s timing is perfect. For your best friend, perhaps the best timing in their college journey was to commit in November. But for you, the best timing for your commitment might not be until April. Neither one is better than the other; they are both in God’s perfect plan and he has a reason for both of them.

Even when things are moving at the pace of a snail, remind yourself that God really does know what He is doing and He has a purpose for it all. He has not forgotten about you, and He will not let your trials last for too long because He knows what you can handle and what will be beneficial.

You are not alone 

Additionally, find friends who are in a similar situation to you. I can almost guarantee that you are not the only person who is facing indecision or the feeling of being behind. Reach out to a friend and ask them how they are doing. How have they felt about their next step in life? Have they found a college? 

If you reach out to enough people (or sometimes just one person), you’ll find that many of your friends have had the same thoughts as you. You will find people that have no idea what next year or maybe even next month will look like, and you will realize that you are not alone. And how can you be falling behind everyone if there are others who are still looking for the starting line too?  

Finally, remember that even if you cannot find anyone who knows what you are going through or can relate to your situation, God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. He cares for you. And that might seem like a collection of Christian clichés, but they really are true. You’re not always going to feel like He’s with you, but thankfully the truth is that He is there, whether you feel it or not.  

But if you are looking for some sort of validation that God is with you, pray for peace. When you ask for the peace that transcends all understanding and deeply desire it, the peace will come even if nothing else seems to be fixed in your life.  

Be happy for those who know the next step 

This is one of the hardest parts of different timing, but it is still important. When God says no or wait to you, do not be upset when he says yes to someone else. It can be frustrating, and you can question why it’s happening, but God has a plan. He has a reason for His timing, and it’s not fair to be upset with either Him or a friend about any of it. Very little of it is in your control, and it might be hard at first to cope with that. But ultimately, it all goes back to trusting God and praying that He will lead you to the right place at the right time. And it will feel great for both you and your friends to celebrate accomplishments together!

Going into the next step of life can be hard, especially when you feel like you’re falling behind your peers. Just remember that God’s timing is perfect, so you do not need to compare yourself to anyone. And you are not alone- there are people who are facing or have faced similar things, and, most importantly, God is always with you. You are not falling behind; you are on pace for God’s plan.