This week, I decided to share another essay I wrote for the Great Conversation 4 last year. This one was in response to a prompt about whether David and Jonathan shared a friendship that was comparable to Aristotle’s standards given in his Nicomachean Ethics.
On the Aristotelian Friendship of David and Jonathan
In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle discusses the qualities and standards that make a complete, virtuous friendship. His doctrine appears sound; however, to determine the truth behind it one must test whether it is biblically correct. While not all of Aristotle’s ideas can be considered accurate through a Christian lens, his ideas concerning complete friendship do align with biblical standards. The Bible describes several strong friendships between followers of God throughout its books. In 1 and 2 Samuel, the story of the epitomized friendship between David and Jonathan is revealed. These two men held a God-honoring relationship that is now revered amongst Christians as perhaps the most ideal example of a biblical friendship. Aristotle’s philosophy agrees with the qualities these men possessed, thus demonstrating that his idea of a complete, virtuous friendship aligns with Scripture.
Aristotle defined complete friendship as “the friendship of good people similar in virtue” (Eth. Nic. 1156b). He wrote that each person involved in a friendship must be “both good without qualification and good for his friend” (Eth. Nic. 1156b). Aristotle also firmly believed that one “must wish goods for his own [the friend’s] sake”, and he held that “friendship is said to be reciprocated goodwill” (Eth. Nic. 1155b). From these passages, one can derive guidelines for a true, Aristotelian friendship. First, Aristotle understood friendship to be a relationship between two people who hold similar virtues and values. Further, friends care for each other, not because they will receive a benefit from the friendship, but because they truly love one another. Finally, friends must harbor goodwill for and be charitable toward each other. From these specifications, it is evident that David and Jonathan concur with Aristotle’s definition of true and complete friends because they have akin virtue, wish good for each other, and keep goodwill for one another.
Aristotle believed that for two people to have a wholesome friendship, they must be similar in virtue, consistent with David and Jonathan’s relationship. David is described in 1 Samuel 13:14 (New International Version) as “a man after [God’s] own heart”. David had an amazing faith in God, and he desired to do the works that God called him to do. Similarly, Jonathan had an unbreakable faith that caused him to trust God in all circumstances. When there is a possibility that Jonathan may be executed, the Bible says, “As surely as the Lord lives, not a hair of his head will fall to the ground, for he did this today with God’s help” (1 Sam. 14.45). Though there are fewer mentions of Jonathan’s relationship with God than David’s in scripture, this passage demonstrates that Jonathan was a true follower of the Lord. Later, Jonathan reminds David, “[W]e have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD” (1 Sam. 20.42). David and Jonathan based their friendship on their mutual faith in God. They both loved the Lord, and they aspired for that love to serve as the foundation for their friendship. Their friendship was held together by their similar virtue, a love for God and a desire to please Him, which aligns with Aristotle’s standard that friendship must be between people of kindred virtue.
In addition to possessing similar values, true and complete friends must wish good for the sake of the other, which is visible in the conduct of David and Jonathan. 1 Samuel 18:3 says, “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” Human nature is to wish good for oneself, but Jonathan wished good for David, whom he loved as himself. Aristotle writes, “Now those who wish goods to their friend for the friend’s own sake are friends most of all” (Eth. Nic. 1156b). From these two passages, it is clear that Jonathan upheld the Aristotelian standard of loving and wishing good for one’s friend. However, it is perhaps more difficult to see how David loved Jonathan. David’s position in society was much lower than Jonathan’s. Jonathan was the king’s son, next in line for the throne, and likely known and revered by many. David was a mere shepherd, Jonathan’s social inferior, lacking the panache of a king. Residing in a lower social status, there would not have been much David would be able to do or give to Jonathan. Nevertheless, Scripture shows that David was willing to help Jonathan and his family in any way possible. In 2 Samuel 9:1, after Jonathan has died, David asks, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” David loved Jonathan during his lifetime, and after his death he wished to keep showing kindness to Jonathan’s household simply for the sake of Jonathan. The two men desired the best for each other, and so would be considered true friends by Aristotle’s measure.
A final and similar qualification for a virtuous friendship by Aristotle’s standard is that friends have goodwill and do good for each other, strive to bring happiness to one another, and are aware of this reciprocated selflessness. When Saul sought to kill David who was in hiding, Jonathan told David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (1 Sam. 20.4). Jonathan desired to help David in any way needed, thus expressing his goodwill toward him, even in a situation where Jonathan’s own father was an opponent. As mentioned, David was not in a position in life to be able to help Jonathan in many ways. His father had no position of influence and, at this point in his life, David did not either. However, Aristotle’s doctrine of what constitutes happiness and goodwill allows David to remain in line with an Aristotelian friendship. Aristotle believed that true happiness is self-sufficient and thus encompasses the happiness of one’s friends and family. He writes, “What we count as self-sufficient is not what suffices for a solitary person by himself […] but what suffices also for parents, children, wife” (Eth. Nic. 1097b). Therefore, for David to bring happiness and show goodwill toward Jonathan, he did not have to exclusively help Jonathan; helping Jonathan’s family would show just as much generosity toward him. Jonathan requests of David, “[D]o not ever cut off your kindness from my family” (1 Sam. 20.15). David promises this and later acts on his word. After Jonathan’s death, David shows his love and kindness for him by helping his family. In 2 Samuel 9, when David asks if there is anyone from Jonathan’s family that he can show kindness to, he hears of Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth. 2 Samuel 9:10-11 recounts, “[David said] ‘Mephibosheth […] will always eat at my table.’ […] So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons.” As soon as David heard of Jonathan’s remaining family member, he wanted to show kindness to him for the sake of Jonathan. David and Jonathan always wished goodwill toward each other, and each did whatever he could to aid the other, upholding the final standard of Aristotle’s qualities for a virtuous, complete friendship.
David and Jonathan are presented in the Bible as an ideal example of true, loving friendship. The two men based their relationship on God and their love for Him. By placing God first in their lives, they were able to truly hope the best for each other and willingly help the other in any way possible. David and Jonathan had equal kindness and goodwill toward each other, which was manifested throughout their lives. Jonathan, being of higher status, was able to directly help David and ultimately play a role in saving his life. Although David was not always able to directly aid Jonathan, he continued his goodwill toward him by loving Jonathan’s family members even after Jonathan’s death. All these qualities are described in a complete Aristotelian friendship. Aristotle believed that a virtuous friendship needs people similar in virtue, who wish good for the sake of the other person, and who bring goodwill and happiness to each other. This is a type of friendship that can be difficult to find, but David and Jonathan are beautiful examples of what a complete friendship looks like, as well as a biblical one.
Leave a Reply