Whenever I talk about having friends from school to people who know I’m homeschooled and take online classes, I tend to get funny looks. I can just see the questions formulating in their heads. “Can you make friends in your classes?” “Is it even possible to have a real friend if you never see them in person?” “Do you actually know these people?” In fact, before my siblings started doing online classes, they often asked similar questions, confused as to how I could have friends I had only ever seen on Zoom.
If you’re in the same boat and wondering if it is possible to make real friends if you do online classes, or even if it’s worth it, let me tell you that my answer is a resounding, “Yes!” to both questions.
I first started taking classes from Wilson Hill Academy in ninth grade. This was my first experience with online classes where students could both use the microphone and be on camera. In my four years of being at WHA, I have developed a wonderful community of students both my age and in different grades. Now, many of my closest friends live in other states, or even other countries. Through technologies like Zoom, I have had countless amazing conversations with them. I have even had the wonderful privilege to meet some of them in person!
But how do you make friends in online classes?
The simplest answer to this question is to get involved. The first friends I made at WHA were through being a part of the Austen House Newspaper as a graphic designer in ninth grade. Being a part of this team gave me the opportunity to meet with other students outside of classes, and build community in a low-pressure environment. One of my friends from this experience was even in the same class as me, so we were able to get to know each other in both settings.
As time has gone on, I have gotten more involved with the wonderful community of students. Through google chats, House meetings, Junior Classical League, and starting a Bible study, I have come to know many people who live all around America (and the world), and have become close friends with a few of them.
But none of this would have ever happened if I wasn’t first open to the idea of making friends from my classes. I could have decided that it wasn’t worth it, or that participating in clubs and events would take too much effort. Fortunately, I chose to try to make friends. If I hadn’t, I would have missed out on some of my most beautiful friendships!
How can I become close friends with my classmates?
I tend to think of “online” friends (or really any friends) in three circles of community. The first and smallest circle consists of those friends whom you have met from a class or club (or somewhere else) and who you frequently talk to outside of class, whether through texting, calling, or Zoom meetings. These can be one-on-one or in groups, but they are the people you can trust and know well. If you were bored, had something funny to share, or were needing prayer, these are the friends you would reach out to.
The second circle is wider. These are people that you talk to in group chats primarily, sometimes one-on-one, and you occasionally meet with them or call them one-on-one. However, you still do know them and could talk fairly comfortably to them, and they’re likely either in class with you or they have been in the past. You would still let them know some aspects of your life, but not as many as the smaller circle.
The third circle is the widest. These are the people you frequently are in classes, clubs, or large group meetings with. You are often in group chats with them as well, but most of your talking takes place in larger groups rather than one-on-one, and you likely don’t ever Zoom or call them one-on-one. But you still enjoy their company and are able to have group conversations with them. They know less about the personal aspects of your life, but are still are aware of you and your personality.
If you’re wondering how you get people from the third to the second circle, or from the second to the first, the simplest answer is to reach out. Maybe you send them a message saying you want to talk more. Maybe you ask them a question and it stems into a conversation. Or maybe you invite them to join a smaller group that you have, like a Bible study.
It may seem scary at first to send that email, chat request, or Canvas message, but it will likely be worth it. Often, they want to reach out to you too but are afraid it will be awkward. However, once you get past that first branch of awkwardness, things will go much smoother. You may even gain a new close friend!
Preach it, Taylor! I get the same funny looks when I tell in person people about my online friends, but the community is real–I can attest that it’s possible to have best friends who live hundreds of miles away.
Thanks, Abby! And yes- although it’s a different sort of community, it is definitely just as real!